Welcoming Grady David

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The last outing as a family of 4: at Colonial Dorchester State Park

#TeamCarterPartyof5

On Thursday, March 8, 2018, we welcomed our son, Grady David, into the world! He was born at 12:55pm at 6lbs, 14 oz, 20.5 inches long. His name means “Noble, beloved.” We are incredibly thankful to God that he is here and a part of our family. He is healthy for being such a little guy (he may have been younger than ultrasounds and dates predicted, although this was a scheduled c-section at 39 weeks and 3 days.) He has such a unique destiny and calling on his life because his birth story was ridiculous. By ridiculous, I mean there were so many things out of our control that happened around the time of his birth that was trying to steal our joy in anticipation of his arrival.

Firstly, my family was sick for five weeks this winter (all rotating from person to person) that was trying to rob me of energy and sleep, all while waiting for Grady to arrive in my third trimester. I don’t wish this on any mama, ever. The week before his birth, everyone was feeling better and in the hospital, I commented to David, “No one in our family is sick anymore!” *Praise God!*

The night before the big day, we had “one last date” and went out for sushi and hibachi and slept pretty peacefully that night. The day of our c-section, we arrived at the hospital at 5:30am for surgery to start at 7:30am. We waited for around an hour and the poor nurse that was chosen to tell us the news: “I don’t know how this happened…but there is another Jennifer Carter, at your same OB’s office, with your same name that delivered at this same hospital…in January. We thought you were her, so we cancelled your c-section. Good news, we can have you come back at 10am for a 12:00 c-section.” (WHAT?!) We were very gracious about it, or at least David said I was more gracious than he was in the moment and I was thankful it was still arranged on the same day (because of pre-surgery jitters and because the girls were all set with childcare at Granny and Gramps’ house for a few days).

We left, and sat at home watching YouTube videos. I hungrily watched David eat a stack of pancakes. I ate some ice cubes. My OB called to ask, “Are you still pregnant?” (Gotta love that man…) and apologized for the crazy mix-up (but it messed up his schedule too and he promised us we would have our baby TODAY.) We came back at 10am and were taken up for prep. We were blessed to have an amazing team of nurses to chat with for the next two hours. Then my OB and anestisiologist arrived and David donned his Hazmat suit and we were ready to stroll into the OR. I was sitting on top of the OR table to get my spinal administered and the anestisiologist commented that they didn’t have the right needles for the spinal. (O.K.) He goes away for 20 minutes. Meanwhile, the nurse (who has scrubbed up and is sterile and can’t touch anything, including me) is like, “This is so weird…we always have both ORs ready to go at all times…” I’m hugging the pillow they gave me, trying not to keep staring at all the sharp objects on a instrument pan that they will use. It was very surreal. The team comes in and they try to get a spinal going. It took several shots of Lydocaine and several attempts to place it in my back (I was told I was shaking because it was very cold in the OR). Luckily, one of my nurses, Clare, was a saint and was holding me in a bear hug. Once we got me laying down to wait for me to go numb, I just started praying out loud in the OR, claiming that this is a great day for my son to be born. There wouldn’t be any more interruptions and that he was going to be born healthy and perfect and that the team assembled in that room was blessed with gifts and abilities to perform miricles everyday. (Whether that team shares beliefs with me or not, they were all like, “Yeah, Amen!”) 🙂

David came in about 30 minutes after he was instructed to wait outside, so he was concerned something wrong had happened, but they were really ready to press on with surgery, so David was my doula, my birth photographer, my best friend and we both were able to watch the birth of our son, Grady David at 12:55pm. He cried immediately and after he was taken to the warmer, they let me do skin-to-skin time. We were amazed at our little guy! I think he looks just like David, with Miriam’s hair color.

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Recovering at the hospital was a rough couple of days for me. Apparently, morphine makes me throw-up a lot and my blood pressure dropped a lot during surgery and they had to keep me under a Bair Hugger warming blanket for three hours to stabilize my temperature, but they did let us go home a day early, as requested. Overall we have no complaints or ill-will toward the hospital staff as they were able to fix their scheduling mistake and by the second night, they left us alone, except to check on Mommy and baby’s vitals. We are very thankful that I’m getting better at moving around at home and that we have three perfectly healthy children. Grady is a great eater and sleeper and he is loved very much by his sisters. They constantly ask if they can hold him, help in changing his diapers and they like to pick out “his cute outfits.”

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Thank you to our families, who have taken the girls for sleepovers and outings over the past two weekends and have brought us dinners. Also thank you to our friends who have prayed for us, who have visited and dropped off food and offered to help us. We couldn’t have done it without “our village.” Thank you! We can’t wait for you to meet Grady soon…

It’s A Christmas Miracle, the story of our second vehicle!

Ever since David started his real-estate journey, approximately fourteen months ago, we have been a one-car family. Actually, upon reflection, we have not owned two vehicles since 2012. (His work van did not count as “ours”, although it was a blessing to have to commute with). Seeing that number of months is crazy to wrap my head around. I don’t know how we did it with two littles and two very different schedules. David and I have prayed for the provision of a second vehicle since October 2016. I suppose we are picky, because we couldn’t drive a clunker (not in the real estate business). It became a frequent saying of David’s because he had so much favor this year in real estate, he would tell his coworkers, “Hey man, if I can sell houses in a mini-van, what’s your excuse?” And the Honda Odyssey was (and is) serving us well. Our requirements for a second car were: it had to be big enough to fit 3 car seats (in case the Honda is ever out of commission in the shop) and it had to be new enough and reliable for David’s work commute and presentable to go to appointments. Also, David has a thing for Toyota 4Runners. We are also still making car payments on the Honda, so for our family, it didn’t make sense to take out a second car loan. Going into more debt just didn’t seem like the best option for us. No, we were not picky in the least…

Opportunities would come up to look for a car, or maybe put a down payment on something, but we kept hearing “wait…”

I am so grateful over the past fourteen months to have had rides from family and friends who were willing to take us to doctor’s appointments, the grocery store and run errands for us throughout that “waiting period.” I am thankful that we live a mile away from a CVS and Harris Teeter and two gas stations and a bank (if I needed to walk, I could). It made me exercise and get the kids outside. I am so thankful for our double stroller that enabled us to make those walks. I am thankful that there is a playground in our neighborhood and plenty of walking space to get us out of the house. I’m thankful for the mommies and littles of “The Mommy Group” who came to my house to entertain us weekly and help me keep my sanity. Most of all, I’m so thankful that God has given David an incredible work-ethic and an amazing job that has enabled us to put a down payment on a friend’s 2003, Toyota 4Runner and pay it off fully by Spring.

Many thanks to our generous friends who are letting us buy their Toyota, it is going to be such a blessing to us! Y’all have championed us while we lamented and dreamed of a second vehicle. You are awesome friends, who saw our need as a family. Now they are being blessed with a third car (and wanted to bless someone else with their Toyota) and they said they thought of us. We are so thankful for their generosity and friendship!

I’m telling you guys, the year is not over yet and God is still working! We didn’t have the money anymore for a down payment, when they proposed the idea of selling their car to us. I had no clue how we were going to save up again to find something at a dealership. I just figured we would have to “make due” and somehow I was hoping God would provide before the baby arrived. (Y’all, he’s coming in 2.5 months….that is crazy!)

To our wonderful Christmas surprise, family gave us money for Christmas and these friends blessed us with a great deal of a car! THANK YOU LORD! We have wanted this for so long!! And thank you, friends, who have stood by us in prayer for this last year as we were waiting and praying to find the “right car.”

We are thankful for so many things from 2017. Lots of things happened this year, but it was truly a year of “repayment for things that had been lost.” It was repayment and growth from 2011 when we gave up so much to “say Yes!” to volunteer missions. God has given us everything back and more that we “gave up.” And the best part? HE HAS EVEN MORE TO GIVE OUT. Not just to us, but to everyone who obeys what He says to do, in every season. In this instance, David gave up his green 4Runner back in 2010. Faith came “full circle” this Christmas and he now has another (even newer) one! We are still in shock…

So, are you ready for the blessings God will give you in 2018? We are. We hope that this year is YOUR BEST YEAR, YET!

With so much love, joy and hope, Team Carter

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Holding Onto The Future Promises of Our Children To-Be

Back in 2013, I (Jen) was walking down our street; Avenida 5, in our neighborhood of Larapa, in Cusco, Peru. I can remember that it was sunny outside. I can remember that I was walking in the direction from our house, towards the shops and the main road. Our entire street was a steep decline, from the our house towards the main road. In Cusco, many of the “hills” seemed like mountains to walk up, especially when you are a beach native. I can remember dodging the holes and cracks in the sidewalk, stepping around trash and being careful where I planted my feet. I can also remember being newly pregnant, because the smell of empanadas and someone cooking lunch was overpowering. Then I felt like the small voice of the Holy Spirit say to me, “You will have sons.” “What?! Really? Ok. Wow.” God speaks on ordinary days. I can’t remember anything else out of the ordinary that happened that day, but I remember journaling those words. I hid those words for later.

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Avendia 5, Larapa, Cusco

We were so surprised in January 2014, when we found out Miriam was our first daughter! Now, don’t think for a minute that we were ever “disappointed” in her gender reveal. Years before, in 2010, David and I were newly engaged. God had spoken to both of us, through visions, prophetic words, through the gift of an art piece from a friend at Clemson DCF, and the general desire in our hearts for a daughter.  We just had no idea that God had saved all of those beautiful things for 2014! And He surprised us again in 2016 with Ellenor! He gave us not one, but TWO spectacular,  independent, beautiful daughters! That’s how good my God is…He gives out double portions when you ask!

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Prophetic Art by Paul Shotsberger (Clemson DCF – 2010)

So this pregnancy, we wanted to find out the baby’s gender, but also be surprised ourselves. At Ellenor’s gender reveal party, I let it slip to some of the guests early…hey, it’s really hard to not say “she” and “her” when you already know who that little person inside you is! So this time, we were sneaky.

The ultrasound tech in my OB’s office was very careful and changed up her wording of “he” and “she” during the scan. She told us to “not read into what she was saying, because she would do baby’s downstairs parts last.” We closed our eyes and she didn’t say anything. When she printed off the ultrasound pictures, she held back the ones that revealed the gender. Then, only Mrs. Beverly, the ultrasound technician, knew what we were having! She gave David the “secret envelope” and my good friend, Jen, met us in the parking lot to pass off the envelope. Then Jen Helmer was entrusted with the job to tell the Harris Teeter balloon guy to fill up the box we gave her with pink or blue balloons, depending on the contents of the envelope. Jen was gone for a few hours, she came back to our house and dropped off the box. We took the box over to my parent’s house and had dinner with them, my brothers and my future sister-in-law. After dinner, we FaceTimed David’s parents and did a Facebook Live video so that our other family members and friends could be a part of the action. Then, Team Carter, ripped into the box and were so surprised when BLUE balloons came out! WE ARE HAVING A BOY! It was such a surprise to not even know beforehand, but everyone, including our girls, are so excited about having a little boy in the house!

My mind went back to that day in Peru when God spoke to me in the quiet. I’m so glad that I can go back and read those words. It was a “future promise” to me and I had just stuck it in a box and put it away on a shelf and forgotten all about it. Until He reminded me that He really does deliver on what He promises. God doesn’t promise you something and take it back. He doesn’t taunt you with the desires of your heart and then snatch it away, leaving you feeling cheated and gullible. (*Sidenote: this is how I feel every time Ellenor offers me one of her Goldfish crackers and then she snatches it away right before I get to eat it out of her hand. She finds it hilarious. I am cheated out of tasty Goldfish.) But that is not Father God’s heart. He loves to give us gifts; gifts that are so unique to each of us, as individuals, because that’s how He created us to be.

It’s like that song, “Yes and Amen,” by Housefires:

“Father of kindness / You have poured out of grace / You brought me out of darkness

 You have filled me with peace / Giver of mercy / You’re my help in time of need / Lord I can’t help but sing

Faithful, you are / Faithful, forever, you will be / Faithful, you are / All your promises are Yes and Amen / All your promises are Yes and Amen //…”

We are so thankful for this gift, of our son, who we are naming, Grady David Carter! Grady, is an old, family name from David’s side of the family. David, after his Daddy and his dad. His name means “noble, beloved.” He is going to be full of joy, a gentle warrior, and the perfect addition to Team Carter! We can’t wait to meet you, Grady!!

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This is the profile pic of Grady

 

Traveling to Awaken the Dawn 2017 Event in Washington D.C. – Testimonies and Recap

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photo courtesy of Awaken The Dawn Facebook page

They called it the “Holy Spirit Woodstock.” It has been 50 years since the 1967 Woodstock gathering. On Oct.6-9, 2017,  57 tents were set up on the National Mall, for day and night, 24/7, worship and prayer, to see what God will do in our nation, if we ask. We worshipped, we prayed, we cried out. We repented, we reconciled, we celebrated. We did this simply because we love God and believe that He is good. And He has good things in store for our lives, our families, our cities and our nation. The best is YET to come!

This weekend was significant because “it was also the 20th anniversary of Promise Keepers; an event where a million Christian men had gathered on the Mall to pray for revival in America. This weekend gathering also happened during the Feast of Tabernacles when all of Israel was gathering to their nation’s capital in tents! Succat Hallel in Jerusalem was doing a tent gathering in Israel during the same dates.” You can read the entire Awaken The Dawn story and more about how God aligned this historic weekend and vision here.

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photo courtesy of Erin Connor

Once I had heard about this event through Facebook, and again at Morningstar’s Wild Love 2017 conference, I knew that I had to go. I was able to find a flight up to DC a few weeks before and even found a wonderful (and cheap) hostel to stay at, that was minutes away from the Mall. I traveled by myself, but met up with my two friends from Charleston, Karen and Erin. They both bought tickets a few days before the trip and two female beds opened up at the hostel as they were on the phone with them. The Lord provided a nice weekend trip for under $300 each! There was so much favor given to us all weekend! The whole 48-72 hours that I was in DC was amazing and I will try to “give you the highlights”. Thank you to friends and family back home who were praying for this event and also for “coming alongside me” via Facebook Live videos.

These were some testimonies that were reported by the ATD founder, David Bradshaw, on the night of 10/8/17:

  • Over 750 people were sent out to do outreach in the city, and in one group, they offered Jesus to 19 people and those 19 people made a decision to pray and accept a personal relationship with Jesus!
  • At Dupont Circle, a man had bad vision and a team prayed for his eyes. After the first time, his vision increased by 50%. The second time they prayed, he said it was up to 90%. The 3rd time, he was 100% healed and could see perfectly!
  • A man who had had brain surgery years ago and because of it, he had limited muscle movement. He hadn’t been able to do a push-up in over 30 years. After prayer he did several reps!
  • On 14th street, a woman was selling ice-cream out of a food truck. She led 53 people to Jesus from her truck (in addition to selling them ice-cream)!
  • A Muslim family was visiting the Mall from another country and they told one of the ATD volunteers, “This is the most beautiful and real expression of worship we have ever seen. What is going on?” (and they stuck around for awhile).
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photo courtesy of Erin Connor, my friends (old and new): Karen Tetrev, Karen Deloach, me with Grady and Gladys 

A few personal testimonies that impacted me over the weekend:

  • A bunch of people at our hostel where also here for ATD and people were sharing their experiences with God and praying for new friends they just met at breakfast.
  • Our 2 lovely roommates were from Argentina and the 4-5 of us that were experiencing ATD got to spend an hour and a half with them just sharing what God has done in our lives, speak prophetically over their lives and pray with them. Seeds were planted because they have traveled a lot and met a lot of people, but we spoke beautiful words into their lives.
  • It was encouraging to see just about every denomination at this event, where people were truly united because of Christ! People were so friendly and hospitable and there was an atmosphere of peace, love and genuineness. I asked a friend who lives and works in DC if this was normal for the culture of DC and she said “No.”
  • We caught up with old friends from Camp St. Christopher (Elaina who lives in PA and Bethany and TJ Fleming who now live in DC) and it was wonderful to reconnect!
  • At one point during worship, the words were something like “God blowing like a mighty wind” (honestly, I was pretty lost in worship to be reading words off a screen) but a huge wind kicked up and many people felt this swirling wind around them (the wind was blowing around each person) and then it would stop. And start up again at various intervals during corporate worship. It was amazing!
  • Strangers were asking for forgiveness from strangers. Reconciliation happened between blacks and whites as we cried out for forgiveness on racial tensions and issues and white privilege. (Dr. Alveda King and Cindy Jacobs led this portion of one of the gatherings and it was so powerful!)
  • We met a bunch of amazing people, but Karen, Erin and I felt like “long term friendships” were going to be made with our new friends, Julie and Lauretta.
  • A woman tripped in front of us in the line for the food trucks and she was crying and said she twisted her knee. The few of us around her prayed for her knee and after the first time she was able to sit up. The second time she was assisted to her feet. We prayed a third time and I asked her if it was 100%, she said “well, you should pray again.” I told her it was “no problem.” After the 4th time, she walked away pain free!
  • Lots of words were spoken over my life about “writing.” I wouldn’t consider myself a “writer”, nor do I know what I will write about, but I’m claiming it as a future promise over my life and am trying to discipline myself to write everyday (even if it’s just personal journaling).
  • Karen, Erin and I were traveling on the subway at night. We were the only ones in the subway train car. I was talking with them about a dear friend who has breast cancer and needs healing and felt led to pray in the car right then and there. Right after we prayed, the subway car started shaking up and down (as if we were going over rocks or bumps in the road). Our ride had been smooth up until this point and there was a literal shaking after that prayer for about 10-15 seconds. We believe our friend will be healed/is in process of being healed.
  • Karen, Erin and I missed our flight (the last flight out, home) and our check-in attendant, pulled some strings and waived the change-of-flight fee (saved us around $80 each) and then hands us a hotel coupon and tells us to pick the cheapest one. We were told for 3 people it was $69 (which split 3 ways was cheaper than our hostel!) and so we joked it was going to be a run-down motel (at this point, we truly didn’t care) and we pull up to the swanky, Westin Hotel (which should have been around $220/night) and we were able to take hot showers, get some sleep and even grab some complimentary Starbucks coffee! It turned out to be such a blessing!
  • THEN, the next morning at the airport, we thought we saw Randy Clark  in the airport. We had seen about 20 doppelgangers all weekend from home, who we thought were at the event, but in fact they were just their look-alikes. So we assumed it was just a guy that looked like him. So we go to the bathroom, so that we have to pass by his section to double check and his personal assistant walks right up to Karen and confirms that it is the Randy Clark. So we go over and introduce ourselves and because he looked tired (he said he was coming back from a crusade in Brazil), we asked him “What is some advice you could give us?” and he replied, “just keep loving God, keep listening to Him and keep loving others.” (Essentially, we were just commissioned by Randy Clark!)
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photo courtesy of Erin Connor, it was an honor for Karen and I (and Erin) to meet Randy Clark and his assistant as they were coming back from a crusade in Brazil
  • We get to board the plane and although I booked my seats a few months ahead, my seat buddies were Karen and Erin! We thought that was hilarious and we know it means we will be working together at some point and I’m thankful for my relationship with these women!
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Hostels are so much fun! Thanks Hostel International DC!

**I am so grateful for the opportunity to go on a somewhat last minute trip like this. Massive kudos goes out to my hero of a husband, David, who single-handedly made sure our girls were well taken care of, fed and showered while I was gone. I am so thankful that he encouraged me to go.  Also thank you to Granny and Gramps who helped out when David had to be at work. I don’t know what I would do without you! I think that God and I still need to process the work He did in me at this event, but for now, I was glad to be a part of the definite shift that happened in DC.

People were asking, “can we do this next year?!” Oh yeah! The vision for 2018 is to have all 50 state capitals having 24/7 worship and prayer and this time they want to be in partnership with state universities to run it. Get ready Columbia, SC, we are coming for you next year—the whole family! Join Tent America to find out more info.

Keep Dreaming and Go After It – Our First Experience with Fostering

 

Keep dreaming. It’s what brings you life. Even when your dreams take detours; keep seeking God’s direction and peace in dreaming and go after it!

Team Carter dreams of adopting one day. Adoption is something that has been on our hearts since before we were married. We wanted (and still want) lots of kids and our hope is that they are a combination of biological and adopted children to complete our family.

We are not pursuing this because we are seeking affirmation from people. Please save your “bless your heart” comments.  It’s not about us rescuing a child, as if he or she is a puppy from the pound. These are our future children we are talking about. We really believe that our children are out there and when the timing is right, they will join our family forever. To us, they are worth fighting for–to keep dreaming for.

Since October 2016, I had been getting lots of words in my time alone with God to research adoption. Key word: “research.” Not necessarily, “do it.” That’s really hard, when you believe that you are called to do something long-term, but have to take baby-steps, when your heart wants to sprint that marathon.  I started researching adoptions, both domestic and international. Something even came up that we never expected to be interested in: foster care.

We know there are so many “what ifs.” There are so many misconceptions surrounding foster care and adopting children. But the more we learned, the more we wanted to pursue it. We have friends who are currently fostering long-term and short-term placements. We have friends who have recently adopted (both internationally and in the States). We have friends who are in the grueling process of waiting to adopt their children. And we champion them all! We are watching friends battling a broken system. We are watching families, who pour out so much love and time, and they are rejected. We hear that there is an overwhelming need. We think, “What can we do to help?” “Why us?” Why not us.

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Do you ever go into a bookstore and the titles seem to jump out at you? This one found me in the clearance section and I felt God say “buy it!” (Photo courtesy of Pinterest)

The program we were applying for stated, “We are not about finding a child for every home, we are finding forever families for children.” The goal for fostering in our state is always reunification with the birth family if possible. Meaning, your intentions of hoping to adopt children in foster care may, or may not happen. It seemed, as we learned more about our state standards that adopting, or accepting a long-term foster care placement (to hopefully adopt them in the future), seemed just as miraculous if we were to become licensed and approved to be matched with a child, or children — just as miraculous as it would to become pregnant with more biological children!

For awhile, it seemed we were making progress. We attended an informational meeting on adopting and fostering in the Spring. In the following month, I had three confirmations of friends or situations that arose that pointed me to the exact same program that we had been looking into. We were communicating with a case worker and were filling out two mountains of paperwork. We had physicals done, background checks and fingerprinting and even had the support from our immediate families. The light was green.

And then, it turned red.

Over the next few months, it became harder and harder. We wondered how much of it was hard, just because people admit that it is hard, or if it was truly a “closed door.” The final test was if we were going to be able to proceed because of our volunteer work in foreign countries. *If this helps anyone, if you were on a “tourist visa” and never had an identification number assigned to you (ie: a work visa), proving that they can track your “outstanding good citizen records”, then DON’T say you ever “lived” in that country. As a tourist, you are technically “passing through” and you don’t need to claim residency there.* As volunteers, we never “existed” in any sort of formal way with foreign governments. We even got our supervisor to write an email saying that we were of good standing and didn’t have any trouble while abroad. It wasn’t good enough. I was so anxious about the whole thing, but it was totally out of our control. Both governments were not going to write anything about two tourists, on a government letterhead, translate it into English, and mail it back to the US; short of us returning abroad to do it in person (if that).

We have learned so much in this process. We learned more about our family, what we can handle right now and what we can’t. David and I had to communicate more than before about what situations we would be comfortable with. I think we were even trying to compromise in ways to make us fit into a category to be accepted. We discovered more about David’s health, so we have changed the way our family eats. We have been doing no dairy and more vegetarian meals. We grieved for awhile that things became out of our control and that we did not wish to continue until we were sure we were qualified to do so. We talked. We prayed. We communicated to close friends and family.

And then came our answer: we found out we are pregnant with #3!

With a pregnancy, if you are in the process of fostering or adopting, we automatically go on a “wait list” for a year and nine months in order for you to bond with your biological baby before you continue with the program.

Wow! We always said we wanted more children, no matter how they came to us, and for right now, that means another child biologically! We didn’t have long to grieve, because this child has brought so much joy and love into our lives already! Praise God!

So we will have to wait and see what the future holds with our adoption dream, but for now we are going to enjoy the adventure we have been given!

 

 

 

 

 

I Entered a Surf Contest, as a Novice, in my 30s (The Folly Beach Wahine 2017 )

June 4, 2017

One year ago, I was sitting at our kitchen table, reading the newspaper about the results from the 2016 Wahine Classic (an all-female, local, surf contest at Folly Beach, South Carolina). Locally, it is just called “The Wahine.” I sighed and mumbled something to David, such as “Oh man, I’ll never be able to do anything like THAT.” He said, “You can do anything you want to do. Don’t let me stop you.” My sweet husband encouraged me over the next year to train and get back into surfing after two c-sections which produced the most beautiful children that I am blessed to call “mine.”

“You aren’t backing out of it. There is no way to get out of this,” David said. “Unless I’m too pregnant to even ride a surfboard in a year,” I said, kind-of-hoping. Fat chance. A year flew by, and here we are: the entry form accepted, check cashed, and a lovely message from co-director, Patti Noe. I’m in the open-novice division. My first surf contest at age 28. Whoa. That sounds intimidating, at least to me.

I went through so many emotions and a lot of anxiety in the last year, specifically about this contest. I went from: “Yay, I can’t wait!” to “What the heck am I doing?!” I kept on with a lot of self-doubt and fear: “You are too old for this.” “You are a mom and going to be out there with 7-year olds.” “Can you even pop-up anymore?” “When do you have time to train?” “You are a bad mom for leaving your kids; your family, to go spend hours swimming laps and practicing.” “What are you doing out here?” “What are you trying to prove?” “You do not belong here.”

Shut up.

This is about me conquering myself.

I was able to reconnect with some old friends and practice surfing again. It wasn’t until after I started swimming laps at the local rec pool for months that I felt as though I had any ab strength to pop up on my board. My husband was my biggest supporter in all of this. He encouraged me to go out surfing and/or swimming at 6:30am at least twice a week. He watched our children so I could practice and even brought our girls, by himself, to the event. David, I am forever grateful! Shoutout to Brittany, Kristin, and Rachel for waking up early to go with me. Thankful for my “surfing sensei”, Audra Gibson (the one and the same of Traveling Ink) for all of your tips, critiques, prayers and sunscreen.

The night before the contest, Rachel and her husband, Jon, spent the night and we were fighting off nervousness and we both got really excited when Audra brought us our welcome grab-bags and T-shirts.  (Thanks sponsors! We felt like we had won before it even started with all of the surprises in there!). The words that I kept hearing over and over in my head before the contest were: “This is going to be fun” and “rejoice.” I just needed to get out there and do it.

Saturday was a great day! The waves were small, 2 ft. and glassy/semi-glassy — meaning normal conditions for Folly Beach. I got to hang out on the beach all day before our afternoon heats, watch some great surfing, meet some amazing other wahines, take part in raffles and free food and enjoy the company of my family and friends under our tent. When it was my turn, it was so much fun to encourage the other girls in my heat and have friends standing on the shore to cheer me on. My fears subsided once I got out there and caught one wave. I honestly wasn’t thinking about how many waves I caught, I was just thinking: “wait, paddle, pop-up.” It was the fastest and yet hardest 15 minutes. I felt like I was sprinting the whole time. I wasn’t even sure of how many I caught, but I did advance to the finals the next day!

Afterwards, I couldn’t help but laugh because that was so much fun! I felt as though I had punched Fear in the face! Man, that felt good! My goal was not “to win”, but I already won because I was just being me out there. I had a goal and I went for it. I did not listen to the lies in my own head. I did my best. I did something that I never thought I was good enough to do.

I am more than a conqueror.

I am salt and light.

and among other things, I can add one more–

I am a wahine.

What is a dream or a goal that you have? What is stopping you from going for it? Get out there and DO IT! I’ll be cheering you on, every step of the way!

-Jen

P.S. Out of all of the amazing ladies out there, I met a few of the women in the “Goddess” category (50+). One woman is in her sixties and she is an amazing surfer and paddle-boarder and she said that she started surfing in her forties! You have no excuse that you “are too old to learn something new.” Several other women also told me that this was on “their bucket list, and now completed”. Way to go ladies! We totaled at 109 competitors this weekend, from various states in the Southeast, as well as one from Mexico. Such an amazing turnout and an amazing event. We will be back next year, –the whole ohana!

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It’s getting real…we’ve got shirts…and hats! Thanks to McKevlin’s and Ocean Surf Shop for sponsoring the event!

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Some of our cheering section! Much love, ladies!
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Celebration banquet with friends! Thanks support crew!

2017: The Year of Breakthrough

Have you also felt, like God is trying to do something new this year?

Google defines “new” as: “1. not existing before; made, introduced, or discovered recently or now for the first time. 2. already existing but seen, experienced, or acquired recently or now for the first time.”

New is creative. New is scary. New is exciting. New is nervousness. New is unexpected. New is rejected by some. New is discovering untapped potential. New was “already existing on a shelf,” but is now coming to use. New is a different approach. New is in transition. New is messy and chaotic. New is hope. New is life.

So many new things have happened this year, in our lives, in other’s lives and in the world around us. Trump became the 45th President of the United States. That’s new. Clemson University (our alma mater) won the 2016 National Championship in college football (they won in 1981…35 years ago!), but it feels new for us, the millennial generation. David (my husband) started a new job, with an entirely new skill-set, with new opportunities and relationships. New. We have New Year’s resolutions every year that we hope to keep up past February…

So when several (much wiser) people have declared this year, 2017, the year of breakthrough (which by definition means: “a sudden, dramatic important discovery” and “an instance of achieving success in a particular sphere or activity”) breakthrough is NEW. It will not always look like sunshine and daisies. It may not look like advancement from your vantage point. If you don’t like the perspective from where you are sitting–change. Change is hard by human nature. But if we don’t change, how can we make room in ourselves for something new? If you didn’t need any newness in your life, then you could stay the same, but part of you dies when nothing new is being created. If nothing new is happening, a part of you is dying. Because you have lost the ability to dream.  Complacency is wonderful until it becomes terrifying. Don’t let part of you shrivel up because you caved-in to fear. Don’t let fear dictate who you are and what you are supposed to do (or not do). (Part of this I may be taking from a Kris Vallotton message…shout out Kris Vallotton, but my “mommy brain” makes it hard to remember sometimes.)

Don’t be afraid of what is new. New directions. New callings. New adventures. New opportunities. New lives. New dreams. New year. New you.

I’ll jump with you.

 

 

Catching Up with Ellenor

Although Mommy has neglected this blog for such a long time; neglecting you, sweet Ellenor, I have not.

Ellenor is a bright, ray of sunshine! She has grown into her big personality, much like her long, dark hair that keeps growing. It is getting slightly lighter/more red in the sun. Ellenor likes to flap her arms. She likes to “grrrr” and “ahhh” and say “hey”, “mama”, “wawa” (water), “bbbbbuh” (she wants Mommy’s milk, or bed), and “oooo”.

At her 9 month check-up she weighs 17 lbs. 4 oz. Her weight is in the 25%, but her height is in the 50% for her age and she has always had a large head (trying to keep up with all that hair). She gets TONS of comments about how pretty she is with her dark hair and blue eyes. She has always been interested in food. She is not a picky eater and eats anything we do. We call her “2-egg Oh-nor” (because she eats 2 scrambled eggs every morning) and usually an applesauce or Nutri-grain bar with it. David comments that this is approximately his breakfast size. I’m convinced that she could eat an entire All-Star Breakfast at Waffle House if she chooses. She likes those applesauce and fruit-blends “on the go” in those squeeze pouches as well as eggs, cooked veggies and mandarin oranges and bananas.

If Ellenor could jump up and run, she would. She is interested in EVERYTHING Miriam does. She is a proud little sister to sit next to M in the double stroller that we were gifted. She has taken an interest with other babies and enjoys her playdates with Gabe, Ruby, Evy (even though Evy is claimed by Miriam) and Natalie. She can “rock” back and forth in the crawling position, although she has not mastered crawling. She likes to test the waters of standing up, but cannot pull up yet. She does like sitting up (since about 6 months) and can scoot around on her bum or lean all the way forward in a split to shimmy around. This month she outgrew her LulaGo Bassinet (the greatest travel bassinet there is, in my opinion) and we put her in the crib, in Miriam’s room. They are great roommates (although Ellenor sleeps in the office/guest room for afternoon naps so that Miriam can have “Miriam time”).

She really loves that she is “a big kid baby” now and can look around, sit up and now trying to be mobile to be a part of whatever we are doing. She still loves the baby carrier and the stroller and loves car rides as long as Miriam is back there with her. She loves being around people she knows and as long as she’s fed, she smiles and talks a lot. She loves to travel with us, as a family. We’ve been to the year-round indoor pool (W.L. Stephens Pool) THREE times now and she takes to water like a fish. We have taken her to the mountain house with Grammy and Pops and enjoyed Santa’s Land. We have gone to Rock Hill a few times. We have gone to stay in a cabin at Lake Jocassee. And she loves being outside (as long as we are there of course).

We love you so much Ellenor! You are becoming such a sweet little girl. When Mommy packed up the bassinet for the final time this week, I cried a little. When did you get SO big? You have Daddy and I wrapped around your finger (and Miriam too, although Miriam is the bossy boss, right now).

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When God Gives You Diamonds, in the Street (yes, really!)

No really, He did!

And He said “You are worth many diamonds. You are a flawless gem of mine. This is for you.”

Really?! Because that could not have come at a better time! I certainly wasn’t looking for diamonds on the street. I didn’t feel “flawless” or “worth it” or “pretty” in that moment.

This story took place in September. Hurricane Hermine came to Charleston and we were cooped up in the house for two or three days because of rain. Over the course of those few days, I was seething mad. I had been lacking in spending quality time with Father God. I was frustrated at a lot of things: myself, my messy house, David and I got into an argument, the kids were whiny and crying. It was the perfect storm–both inside and out.  I felt like Alexander from the book for kids: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. As soon as the storm cleared enough to go outside, I bolted. David yelled after me as I ran out the door, “where are you going?” (“”I’m moving to Australia…”, I thought.”)

I walk maybe 500 yards around the corner ,where our road crosses over a drain to the marsh and I hear a “clink” and realized I’ve stepped on something. “Great. Probably a nail or something…” Nope, not a nail, a diamond ring. The setting is bent and looks really dirty, but it’s a diamond ring. I stopped and looked around. No one was out and about. It almost felt like a trick. (“WHAT?!”) I thought about leaving it there, but then thought a better way to contact someone about it was through one of those “Mom Swap” Facebook groups. So I found my neighborhood’s page and inquired about a lost ring and wanting to return it to its owner. A few people came forward and described rings, but their descriptions unfortunately did not match this one. I held onto it for almost a month, waiting for someone to come forward, but the match never turned up. One day, I felt peace about selling it. That could not have come at a better time too!

I’ve never been to a jeweler before, “just to look”. There are some (ahem!) VERY pretty things at Loy Harn Jewelers, y’all. God directed me to go to this smaller, “mom-and-pop”, local jewelry store in town to sell it. Their staff was very attentive and professional and I appreciate the time they took with us (yes, us. I had the girls with me too). The owner, Jason Harn was great and he offered to buy the ring for the value of the diamond and the weight of the gold band that it was set in. The amazing thing, was that the check he wrote me, was just over the amount of money that we have spent (out of our own savings) to get David started in real estate! It’s repayment for his classes, new clothes, fees, and to simply live off of (until he sells a house, of course!) PRAISE GOD!! It has been such a financial miracle for us!

We are so thankful to the Lord that we can pay rent and our bills and we never go without the things we need, but it takes faith when you feel like there isn’t any “wiggle room” for extras. And this is a poverty mindset by the way; living “hand to mouth” with fear hanging over your head about “what if there won’t be enough for tomorrow?” “will it always be like this? work hard, pay bills, repeat…” This is not healthy for us, for anyone. Fear destroys living life at its fullest. Fear holds you back from dreaming and if you aren’t dreaming, you are dying.

I’m so excited to be able to tell you this story, now that David has “officially” changed jobs and is now working for Jeff Cook Real Estate. The month of September was truly a whirlwind of transition as David was working his daytime job (an average of 60 hours a week) on top of spending our savings to send him to night school for his real estate course (three nights a week).  We are “all-in” this new real estate adventure. David is going at it full-time, and we are all-in financially to get him there.

I wanted to share this story because God is teaching me that I’m worth far more than what I think I’m worth. He is teaching me that He can provide in all circumstances. Sometimes, when I’m looking for Him to use the people I think He will use to help us (and they don’t), or when my expectations and plans fall short and I’m out of options; He will literally let money (and diamonds) fall from Heaven and land at my feet. I can trust Him, even when I don’t trust myself. Wow, that is amazing!

So now, the testimony of diamonds appearing on the street has been released. So I invite you, friends, to look for God, when you aren’t looking for God at all. Start looking down as you walk, people. He can do the same for you! Or He can choose another limitless, creative, miraculous way, because He’s just awesome like that!

Moving On Up – Starting a Career in Real Estate

Maybe you’ve seen these ads if you live anywhere near Charleston County:

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(Photo courtesy of Charleston City Paper)

Want to hear a joke? The upcoming election. (Bad joke, I know…)

Know what’s not a joke? David has accepted a job with Jeff Cook Real Estate!

This is is truly an opportunity from God for David to step into something so new, for himself and for our family. He has the opportunity to work with an awesome team of people and to do something so different from before. We are seeing the hand of God move as we are trusting Him with timing, a new career, our finances (now being paid on commission). We are praying for open doors in business, in God encounters on the job, in new relationships and we eagerly ask for more of what God has for us in this new transition.

So to our dear friends in Canada, we are sorry to report that at this time we are not moving to your great country…but we are going to stick around the US and continue to make Charleston, South Carolina great place to live.

An update in Summer 2023: We have moved to Rock Hill, South Carolina and are still with this great real estate company! You can read about how that transition went for our family HERE. How can we serve your family in South Carolina AND North Carolina? https://cartersellsthecarolinas.com/