Welcoming Ellenor: A Birth Story About Redemption

On May 15, 2016July 9, 2023 By David CarterIn KidsLeave a comment

The birth of my 2nd daughter was so different than my 1st. That’s what I felt God say to me about this go around: “it will be different.” In case you missed Miriam’s birth story, I’ll briefly recap: 22-hour labor, lots of interventions, she still wasn’t coming and resulted in an unplanned c-section. This is scary to admit but the whispering voice of the Holy Spirit told me that morning, 5/1/14 through a feeling”you will have a c-section” to which my inner-dialogue said “hell no.” (Call it pride, call it wanting to give it a “good ol’ try” as a 1st time mom, call it whatever), but had I walked into that hospital fully trusting what God had told me and changed “my birth plan” it would have saved us/me (who am I kidding, ME) about 11 hours. To say that was a crazy day would be an understatement. But she and I were both kept safe. The Lord’s presence was all over our room and the OR and we were blessed with the sweetest of nurses. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t “have the magical birth experience I wanted” and spent way too much time grieving it and beating myself up about it and feeling so ashamed. Thank God that’s over! I’ve healed a lot from that experience. I’ve turned trauma and sadness and confusion and “why me?” into joy and thankfulness (I’ve had lots of inner-healing prayer, or SOZO to help with that) 🙂

So this time around: new location, new hospital, new OB. My hospital and OB do not practice or advocate VBACS, so with that option off the table (because home-births are also out of the question for our family…not knocking it, but not for our family), both David and I agreed beforehand that we would like a scheduled repeat c-section. Fast-forward through a fairly easy and wonderful pregnancy and at 39 weeks, we were ready to meet our Ellenor! It’s funny that with Miriam she was almost 2 weeks late and I prayed “please come today, please come already”, ate whole pineapples and spicy foods and tried every freaking trick in the book to kickstart labor and NADA, but with Ellenor I prayed, “please stay in there, please” and felt way more relaxed and less anxious (for knowing exactly when she was coming) 🙂

The night before surgery, on May 2nd, David and I treated ourselves to a date night consisting of coffee, Barnes and Noble, Papa Johns and the Marriott (right across the street from East Cooper Medical). It was awesome! Then we woke up at 4:30 to cruise into the hospital at 5am for paperwork (all those questions!) and getting hooked up and prepped. The hardest part was waiting the 2 hours to get started. Our friend, Alicia is in training to be a midwife and doula so she came to the hospital to “doula-nate” (our word, not hers) and to watch my c-section. She was amazing and I can fully advocate for c-section mamas (unplanned or elective) to hire a doula! At her initial suggestion, I wasn’t sure about how much she could “do”, but was I wrong. She met us at the hospital early (she’s got 2 babies of her own), prayed with us beforehand, kept our excited-nervous jitters down, got David coffee and offered to take pictures while we were in the O.R.. She also offered to stay with me at all times if David needed to leave with the baby so that I would never be alone. (um, yes, please!) Afterwards, she stayed with us in recovery, offered support with breastfeeding, offered to get us anything we needed and was always there as a calming presence and as a friend. Thanks Alicia! You already are an amazing doula!

7:15am hits and after talking with the anesthesiologist, I make a last minute decision (well, made the night before) that I wanted to watch my c-section. Not the whole “slice and dice” bit, just the part where my daughter is born. And I wanted skin-to-skin as soon as possible. Easily enough, the doctors were ok with that. Done. Then, I find out that I have to walk alone to the OR…wait, what? David and Alicia had to stay behind until I was fully prepped. You don’t know how surreal it is to walk into an OR as the patient, until you have to (last time I was wheeled in on so many drugs, I don’t recall it because I was fighting sleep) so this time I’m fully alert and the nurses are like, “ok, let’s go.” But this sweet, amazing nurse, Ms. Connie, comes and embraces me and prays over me while I’m getting my spinal inserted and that calmed me down a lot. Fun fact: a spinal is instant numbness as opposed to an epidural gradually kicks in. Didn’t know that, but I felt SO relaxed and told my nurse, Susan “wow, I feel so at peace and relaxed. I bet all moms say that coming in here.” She said, “um, no, they don’t.” Did you know that there is a countdown on the wall of the OR counting backwards from 35 minutes? Not sure what happens if it hits 0:00 but we didn’t have to find out.

Ms. Connie called roll and David and Alicia came back to stand next to me. When they were ready (which unbeknownst to me they had started the surgery) and they lowered the sheet so that I could see (keep in mind, from my vantage point, I have a bowling ball on my stomach, so I’m spared seeing my own blood and guts) and I saw them pull her out of me. It was the most surreal, wonderful, amazing moment. I was crying happy tears before they even lowered the sheet and I lost it when she came out screaming. I think I said “hey baby.”Miss Ellenor Beverly was born at 7:44am and she was perfect at 7 lbs, 5 oz, 20 in. long. I got to hold her skin-to-skin after a few minutes while they checked her over. She laid on my chest for 20 minutes or so then they were going to take her out of the room with David to do the APGAR tests and all that jazz. I was SO thankful that Alicia stayed with me while I was getting stitched up. Then I was wheeled into recovery where David handed me back Ellenor and Ms. Connie helped me with breastfeeding (cue nausea), but Ellenor latched on immediately like a champ and that’s been an easy road for us.

Now she’s a little over a week old and we are so in love! Miriam is adjusting well and loves her baby sister! While I wouldn’t say that recovering from a c-section is “fun”, maybe because it’s my second time and not my first, it IS easier the second time around. Miriam’s birth was a testimony to the Lord’s goodness and GRACE. Ellenor’s birth was a testimony of REDEMPTION and healing. Everything went so smoothly and wonderfully! In Blake Healy’s book, The Veil, he describes the scenes of watching his children being born. Because Blake sees angels, he describes that at each birth, “there is an angel in the room…who can hardly contain his excitement; with anticipation that as soon as the baby is born, he or she is assigned for life to that angel.” So I envisioned with Ellenor’s birth (and can envision with Miriam’s too) that there was an angel in that OR that was dancing and trembling and jumping up and down with joy in the moments leading up to her birth. Dar la luz–to bring to light!

IMG_20160503_070802861

IMG_20160503_075212594 2 — first family pic

IMG_20160503_150715102 — Miriam and Gramps meeting Ellenor

Secret’s Out…

On November 7, 2015July 9, 2023 By David CarterIn Family Life, KidsLeave a comment

baby Carter #2 coming in May 2016!

Miriam at 18 months

On November 7, 2015July 9, 2023 By David CarterIn Family Life, KidsLeave a comment

This fall we had Miriam’s first camping trip at Keowee-Toxaway State Park in Pickens. She loved the woods and hiking. Overall she did great (she got a little cold at night but slept the rest in Jen’s hammock with her). We were able to spend some time with our dear friends, the Haldemans. We would definitely go camping again with small children! A few things we learned: 1. it is probably better to sleep together in a tent for warmth (she didn’t like being confined in a sleeping bag). Next time, we will do an air-mattress in the tent together. 2. We are very glad we came over-prepared. Meals were already prepared and frozen so all we had to do was heat them (which equals more hands to wrangle Miriam). 3. Fires scare me with a toddler who is prone to trip over her own two feet. (they should invent a child-proof ring around the fire ring), but the pack-n-play did help… All in all, go camping as a group (more hands to help with kids) and bring tons of baby-wipes and they will be fine. We loved it!

We went to my parents church for their annual Trunk-or-Treat and we took home second place as the cast from “Bob’s Burgers”.

Miriam loves the pumpkin patch and trick-or-treating. She was a little confused we didn’t stay and go inside people’s houses but she got a good haul of candy. Her overall opinion of chocolate is “just ok. a bit overrated”, but she can down a lollipop no problem.

She has 10 teeth and at her last check up she weighed 21.5 lbs. When we went back later this month for her check-up she immediately started crying (she knew the shots were coming…poor kid). She now weighs 23.3 lbs and is average for all of her head circumference, weight and height. She is more and more independent everyday. She can run. She says “yes, bite, beads,hungry,dirty,baby,go-go (car), yogi (yogurt), eggies (eggs), Gogee (Goldfish), wa-wa (water) along with the others she knows. Altogether she probably knows about 50 words, and can say about 35-40. This week she likes to say “cars” and “stars.” We’ve been giving her more choices (ex. for her to pick out her own clothes or between snacks) She is definitely a girly girl with clothes and usually will pick out pink socks or a shirt with her beads and pink shoes. She really likes her yellow boots (which she affectionately calls, “butts”).

She weaned this month (which Jen says she has officially graduated from baby to toddler). We have no idea if she actually understands that there is “a baby in Mommy’s belly”, but we try. She will then point to her belly, or she will go grab one of her baby dolls. She is incredibly smart and very affectionate. She will hug friends goodbye and blow kisses to most people when we leave and if we arrive she will wave and say “hey!”. We have put up pictures of family and friends on the refrigerator and she can easily recognize people.

We absolutely love our growing girl! She really is growing up way too fast!

Happy 1st Birthday Miriam!

On June 10, 2015July 9, 2023 By David CarterIn KidsLeave a comment

These are late, but Miriam is 1 year old! We celebrated in style with a tea party. At her check-up she is 21 lb. 2 oz. (but grew 3 inches since her 9-month appointment). She likes to crawl and can stand-up and balance herself. She was hesitant about her birthday cupcake and in the end, prefered a cookie. But she loved her presents and she knew that everyone there was present to celebrate her (smart girl!). Mommy and Daddy love you so much Miriam! You are growing up into quite the little girl! We wrote down our predictions, blessings, and life-advice and our hopes for Miriam for when she turns 18 (in 2032!) and put them in a time-capsule envelope that she can open on 5/1/2032.

“Tea Time!”

“Um, is this it? Do I eat this?”

“Ma, get it off me!”

Playing “Pass the Parcel”

Granny J won! (it was a tiara)

Miriam: 6 and 7 Months

On December 2, 2014July 9, 2023 By David CarterIn KidsLeave a comment

It’s been a super busy last 2 months. We visited Gramps and Granny in Charleston for Halloween and Thanksgiving. Miriam experienced her first pumpkin patch at Jen’s parents’ church. She went on an all-day play date with the Tetrev family. We survived our first Halloween and Miriam trick-or-treated for about 30 minutes. We were the characters from the Lego Movie. She is still nursing, but continues to try out solid foods. She likes apples, pears, berries, graham crackers, sweet potatoes and bananas. She is slightly less fond of sweet peas, squash and pumpkin. She gags over green beans. Her Papa fed her pizza, but we’ve restricted that for awhile (same with peanut butter and chocolate cake). Miriam weighed 17 lbs. 7 oz. at her 6 month check up!

She’s become even more active and alert. She wants to grab everything and shove it in her mouth. She likes to be held upside down and practices somersaults with Daddy. She is entertained just sitting in front of a Christmas tree. She can scoot a little bit in her walker. She has zero desire to try crawling, but likes to stand up (with help) and “walk”. We think she will walk before she crawls. She knows how to “divide and conquer” (meaning, she will cry “ma-ma-maaa” and if Mama doesn’t work, then she tries “da-da-dagi” for Daddy. And even though this tactic may not always work in her future, for the present time it’s pretty stinkin’ cute 🙂

(please note that flipping your child upside down may result in serious injury. please do not try to replicate what you see here. safety first!)

She is definitely teething, but no teeth have broken through yet. She also wakes up a few times each night, probably due to separation anxiety or teething, or growing. Her schedule is also probably messed up from daylight savings time (why do we even do that anymore….) Mommy and Daddy have missed their sleep these couple of months, but you can’t really be mad when you wake up to this:

the definition of hope (the joyful anticipation of what is to come); child-like wonder!

Miriam: 5 Months

On October 6, 2014July 9, 2023 By David CarterIn Kids1 Comment

Woah. Didn’t we just do one of these? Where does the time go?!? Miriam is 5 months already and may or may not have tasted chocolate frosting…but other than that, she’s still on mommy’s milk diet. She’s more alert than ever! Her day starts off by waking us up by talking to herself. She starts off whispering (new) and then increases the volume until she has breakfast (don’t we all?) She loves to give kisses by sucking on your face. She also loves to be held while going out (it’s a lot easier than carrying her around in the car seat). She’s got to be close to 20 lbs….

She is able to get out about town more often and because Team Carter is super excited about this fall season, we have been able to go apple-picking at Windy Hill Orchard, sampled the food-truck fare at an outdoor festival, have been to a Mommy-group that meets in Fort Mill (which has been SUCH a blessing for Mommy) and been on numerous shopping outings for errands and exploring with her aunts.

at Tawba Fest

ready for church (wearing Mommy’s dress from when she was a baby)

apple picking with Daddy

Hanging out with cousin Ayda

We are working very hard to maintain consistency with her nighttime routine (usually she sleeps great, but doesn’t always want to go to sleep) so every night around 7:30pm you will find Miriam getting a shower, getting snuggled in her pjs, if she’s not “losing it” by then she will get a story read to her, then it’s big feeding time, and then she likes Daddy to rock her in the dark or sing to her until she gets sleepy. It’s the cutest thing. She gets so excited to get into her sleep sack to go to bed. Then its prayers and lights out (until she wakes up talking 5-8 hours later). She also (often reluctantly) will take a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Praise God for a wonderful sleeper!

We are so blessed by this little girl and honored to be her parents! Her laughter and smiles are the best sunshine in the world! She is really starting to develop her personality more and more. We love you so much Miriam!

Miriam: Months 3 & 4 (and a short family update)

On September 15, 2014July 9, 2023 By David CarterIn KidsLeave a comment

A bit late, but Miriam is growing up so fast! She loves to try to “talk” and includes plenty of noises, cooing and shrieks. She discovered her laugh. She is so close to rolling over from back to tummy (she just can’t figure out how to get that pesky arm out of the way). She went to Charleston to visit her Gramps and Granny for a week. We took lots of walks with Granny and she tried out the Splash Pad at the James Island County Park. She enjoyed her first play date with Alicia and Judah Adams and the Tetrev boys + Karen.

She also visited Daddy’s job-training site in Winston Salem, NC for a week. She rode a carousel at the mall, took a dip in a pool that was too cold, met lots of new people and accepted lots of compliments, got a sweet pair of red high-tops and experienced life in a hotel. We recently met some friends, the Bowmans, who introduced her to pink camo and The Beacon restaurant in Spartanburg, SC. Her hair is long enough to put in pony-tails but the bows won’t stay in her hair for too long. She tried the Bumbo seat again and will agree to sit in it for a little while. She still doesn’t like it if she sees someone interact with her and then try to walk away/leave the room (especially Mommy). She is fascinated by people eating and wants to be held at the dinner table to see everything. She has become so alert and loves to reach and look around. She discovered her swing has ducks above her head that move and a mirror. She discovered she has feet. She likes to twiddle her fingers together. She outgrew her 0-3 month clothes and is barely squeezing into her 3 month clothes.

At 3 months, Mommy took Miriam to a breastfeeding support group so Miriam could get weighed and she was 13 lbs and 3 oz. At her 4 month checkup, Miriam weighed 15 lbs, 6 ounces. This explains why Miriam can sleep on average 7-9 hours of sleep at night (when she’s not having a growth spurt of course). Her record has been 12.5 hours of sleep and was woken up by Mommy to eat. 🙂 We love what a great sleeper and eater she is!

Our friend, Audra Gibson, took our family photoshoot in Hampton Park and they turned out beautiful! Here are some of our favorites:

In other news, Team Carter is very excited about the fall season (we haven’t experienced a SC fall in 4 years!) so we are pumped about cooler weather, pumpkin-flavored everything, leaves changing color, apple picking, watching college football and the start of the holiday season! We have an idea of what we want to be for Halloween (Old Town Rock Hill has safe trick-or-treating that night, so we might check it out). Otherwise, Team Carter is usually in bed with our pj’s on around 9pm.

David is enjoying his job (which still has him training every other 2 weeks in Winston-Salem). We have plugged into a church. We feel like we are starting to lay down some roots while we are living in Rock Hill and it feels really good. We know we will be living with David’s parents until the spring/summer of 2015 and continuing to pay off student loans and building up some savings. We are very grateful to them for allowing us to build up our family during this season (and we know they love having Miriam so close 🙂 ) We also love that we are able to start having fellowship and meeting new people. For the present time, we are really enjoying being a family and being parents. It’s SO sweet! Thank you for continuing to pray for us–we love you guys!

Miriam: Months 1 & 2

On July 1, 2014July 9, 2023 By David CarterIn KidsLeave a comment

This sweet girl has captured our hearts! She is teaching us so much about unconditional love and we think she’s the best baby on the planet (sorry to everyone else’s kid in the running). Miriam loves lots of things and the first 2 months were full of firsts. She had her first bath and loves to play in the water (we have a shower not necessarily a bathtub, but she loves it). She loves music of all kinds (especially worship music at Church). She watches Battlestar Galactica and Star Trek with Daddy. She loves people and doesn’t seem to mind strangers/family/friends passing her around. She loves to coo and make noises (like “summoning her Pteradactyl friends” cry) and she will often give you smiles. She was born with a big personality. She likes to go on walks/runs in the stroller but doesn’t like tummy time. She destroyed the car seat (#2) coming home from the doctors office. She likes to practice her gymnastics skills like arching her back (almost touching her head to her back) and trying to roll over (she did it once unassisted on the couch). She’s ready to explore more things in this big world and we are so blessed to have her as our daughter. She’s funny and a little bit of a ginger sometimes (saucy!) but she’s ours 🙂 we love you Miriam!

Miriam at 9 lbs 4 oz. and 21.25 inches

Miriam at 11lbs 6 oz and 23 inches

Miriam’s Birth Story: A Testimony of Grace and Goodness

On May 22, 2014July 9, 2023 By David CarterIn KidsLeave a comment

I (Jen) was 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I wasn’t tired of being pregnant, but I was so ready to meetour sweet girl and waiting is very hard. I felt as if I tried everything on my part up until her debut. I went for long walks, rolled around and bounced on my yoga ball, ate an entire pineapple, tried accupressure….nada. Nothing was happening. Until the night of April 30th, when David suggested that I go have some “God time”, I locked myself in our room and put in headphones, blasted some Bethel tunes into my ears and danced around in worship. I hadn’t done that in a long time.

Well, God and I enjoyed worship together that night so much that I woke up May 1st at 2AM with contractions that I finally thought were “real”. I didn’t wake David up until 6AM to tell him. Our doctor’s appointment that day was at 8AM so we thought we would wait until then to find out for sure. I went in for Miriam’s stress test and once the doc checked me out she said, “Yep, it’s the real thing. You are at 4 cm. Go to the hospital.” So we checked into the hospital around 10AM.

Once at the hospital, we were given a rockstar of a nurse, Mandy. She made me feel as if we were in control of whatever we wanted to do. When she said that I was “the only one on the floor listed as wanted a natural birth” I told her that we were going to “wing it and see”. While worship music was playing, we carried on. She checked me out and said I was at 5 cm. Five hours go by and after doing everything I felt like I could handle, I asked to be checked again. …no change, still a 5. At this point, I was thinking “I’ve tried for 12 hours by myself…yep, that’s a good attempt.” I didn’t feel guilty at all for asking and thanked God for the person who created epidurals.

At 3:30PM, I got the epidural and didn’t feel anything anymore. So we waited. My water was broken for me which didn’t speed things up. Around 6PM or so we kicked in some Pitocin (which at this point, my thoughts are “Great. I can’t feel a thing. You might as well.”) Other than uncontrollable shaking like I had seizures, I was able to rest for a bit, talk to our other wonderful nurses (thanks Lisa and Pam) and joke around with David. Finally around 8:30PM or so they announce that I can start pushing. So I pushed, for an hour and even with 2 assists from the vaccum, she wasn’t coming out. Miriam was fine, of course. Her heartbeat only dipped once and our other nurses couldn’t believe “what a happy baby we had, who was just too stubborn to come out.” I also wasn’t feeling any pain at all and the doctor and I were chatting about him planning a trip to Machu Picchu in between contractions.

When the words “I think we should do a C-section” came out of my doctor’s mouth, I started to cry (mostly due to being so tired, mostly due to crazy preggo hormones, mostly due to feeling scared). But David and I had already talked about that the only thing we wanted was a healthy and safe delivery of our baby girl. God was reassuring me throughout the 20ish hours of labor that “the end result would be joy” and that He was with us every step of the way. So we opted that she did come out, by C-section. The last thing I remember David saying to me before I was wheeled into the OR was “Jen, I think I lost the car keys.” (Don’t worry, we found them 2 days later).

Within 15 minutes, Miriam was born. She was perfect. We also found out (from David watching the last little bit) that my uterus is apparently heart-shaped, exactly like that of a Valentine’s card. The doctor said in his 15-something years of practice that he’s never seen that before. (We think that it’s God’s humor that he would surround her with love in every way…we just had no idea that meant literally). David got to cut her cord and once she was cleaned up and put on my chest, she smiled. They say babies can’t smile yet, but I know she smiled. She was and is so beautiful!

Today, Miriam is 3 weeks old and I’m tearing up as I think of all that went into bringing her into the world. I know that I couldn’t have done it without David by my side. He was amazing support through everything! He loves “his ladies” so well!!

We are also very thankful for all of the well-wishes and prayers that covered us before, during and after her birth. When asked, “would you do it again?” Absolutely, 1000%. We felt God’s presence in our labor and delivery room and there was so much peace around everything that had happened. God really took care of us with an amazing staff of doctor’s and nurses. I felt so much grace was extended to me, to us. God is so good and so faithful to entrust a daughter like her to us! We love you Miri-Bear so much!! You teach us so much about the unconditional love of the Father. Love, Mommy and Daddy.

Boy or Girl…..The BIG Reveal…

On January 16, 2014July 9, 2023 By David CarterIn Kids1 Comment

Boy or Girl.....The BIG Reveal...

#osita, #babygirl, #doinitright, #itsagirl, #bestsurpriseever, #miriamelizabethcarter, #boom

Right before we met her, we were waiting for the doctor to arrive for the appointment and I turned to David and said, “What if it’s a baby girl…won’t that be a surprise!” And she was. The best surprise we could ask for!

Miriam Elizabeth at 25 weeks: She is the size of your average rutabaga (does anyone actually eat those?) and is estimated to weigh 1-2 lbs. She’s getting hair and putting on weight. All of her measurements are in kilos and millimeters (and we ask, “is that normal?” and we were reassured that she is perfectly normal). We saw her heart chambers pulsating and pumping blood (which was really cool) and when it came time to check her downstairs parts, she (like with the last ultrasound) had her legs clamped together and was being very modest. (You go baby girl, modest is hottest!) Our doctor had to check three times to get her to move around enough so he could see. “Una hermosa jovencita…es una mujercita,” he said at last.

David kept saying “wow, that’s incredible!” over and over. Yes, I know we thought we were having a boy. Yes, we can happily admit that we were wrong. The funny thing is about a month ago (when babies are generally forming their downstairs parts), when I would pray for or talk to LB, I stopped using the general “him”. Yes, we used the label “Osito” (Little Bear, who is a boy),but once we found out that she is an “Osita” it was like “of course she is!” God has reminded us of visions that David and I have received of her in the past, before we were even married, when she was nothing more than a distant-happy-thought. And here she is!

Her name is Miriam Elizabeth, which means “a sea of God’s promises”. These are the words that God spoke over her life when we were dreaming up baby names. She was promised to us in the past and we are so honored that God is fulfilling his promise by letting us be her parents. In the same way, he has an endless ocean of promises for her to walk into as she continues to grow in her own adventures with God and live out her own destiny.

Thank you for all of your prayers for her and we welcome any words or encouragement that you have over her. We can’t wait to meet her in a few more months!

Team Carter's Big Adventure

Category: Kids